Marriage Ceremonies in Rural Punjab
I have always been interested in learning about the rich rural culture and rituals of people living in Punjab. Some, I had heard from my elders as a child and others I have read from books written by erudite individuals. Reading these books have brought back memories and have validated the authenticity of the forgotten rituals practiced by our ancestors for centuries.
In rural Punjab, the marriage was a complex process and different casts and sub-casts had different rituals for conducting this sacred ceremony. This was prior to the Anand Karj marriage act of 1909, and in many instances, Sikhs living in rural Punjab, till the late 50s performed marriage as per the following rites and rituals.
The Nai (village barber) or the Brahmin purohit would be the go-between (lagi), opening negotiations between two households which would eventually lead to marriage. These middle persons would find prospective matches for families looking for suitable spouses for their children. In those days, there were no matrimonial ads in newspapers and Internet would be popular from 1990s onwards. The Nai was an important member of the village, on top of performing duties of a barber, he performed minor surgeries, was carrier of important news, and was often referred to as a ‘Raja’ (King).
Once a suitable match was agreed upon between the families, the Nai would be sent to the groom’s house, put a mark on the groom’s head and offer him sweets and sagan (monetary gift) on behalf of the bridegroom’s family. The actual date/time of marriage would be fixed by consulting astrologers, who would match the bride and groom’s horoscope. Two or three months prior to the marriage a formal letter called ‘Sahi Chithi’ announcing the exact date of marriage would be dispatched by the bride’s family by the Nai. Celebrations and various rituals would be held at both houses, including singing, beating of drums, and family get together including dancing and merry making. There would be a positive, fun-filled environment in the village and everyone from the community would take part in the celebrations. A village cook (halwai) would be hired by the family to make sweets and other edibles for the community. As part of the rituals, propitiation of the nine planets, the tying of cotton threads on wrists and ankles, and worship by the bridegroom at an ancestral shrine in front of their jand (Prospis spicigera) tree.
On the day of marriage, the bridegroom, accompanied by a barat (wedding procession), which was made up of entirely of men would reach the bride’s place. It was auspicious to reach the venue after sunset. Upon arrival, the visitors were received by the bride’s family with loud singing and the beating of drums. There would be dancing girls, who would participate in the rejoicing. After feasting, the bridegroom was led to a special enclosure and the ensuing ceremony, called the phera or circumambulation of the fire was performed.
The enclosure was marked off with four upright stakes joined by cross-pieces of wood at the top and the inside. This was covered with a red cloth called a vedi. Inside this enclosure were placed two red seats for the bridal couple. The pair were seated and the Brahmin who was going to perform the marriage rites marked the ground with square divided into compartments, each representing a particular deity. These were worshipped in the name of the couple and the Brahman recited verses from the sastras asking the bride’s parents to give their daughter in marriage. A small fire was lit and the Brahmin tied the hem of girl’s head –scarf to a piece of cloth which was placed over the shoulders of the bridegroom. Guided by a relative, he led the bride four times around the fire, which as deity, stood witness to the marriage. The bride then came to the front and walked around the fire thrice, once more, while officiating priest recited verses from the sacred texts. The marriage was then complete and the couple left for the husband’s house accompanied by the Nai’s wife. The marriage was not consummated; after spending a few days at her husband’s house, the bride returned to her parents, with whom she resided until she came of age. She was finally sent over to her husband at a ceremony called muklava.
Reference:
The Construction of Religious Boundaries by Harjot Oberoi
Sikhs by A.H. Bingley
Painting Description: watercolour, Sikh marriage procession, Punjab, ca. 1860
Physical description
Sikh marriage procession: the bridegroom riding on horseback, a parasol-bearer beside him. The procession faces left and contains camels with riders and musicians.
